[im]PERFECT

I would like to think I'm perfect, or pretty damn close, but we all have vices, bad habits etc. here are just a few of mine.

sometimes I can be....

Materialistic
I get pure joy from the things I buy, like seriously happy. When I'm sad all I need to do is go on a shopping trip and it picks my mood right back up. Every time I go to the store I always find something that I "need", and when I can't get it I'm disappointed. Since I have no job this summer, this is becoming a problem. I wouldn't say that I put material wants and needs over other things, but if I don't reign it in soon I might be living beyond my means and on some Confessions of a Shopaholic type ish. But nice stuff just looks so damn good!!!

Jealous
This is actually a new vice of mine. I was never the jealous type, I am usually secure with myself and I have never really been envious of others, but recently the green eyed monster has been paying me a visit. I think that it has more to do with the fact that I'm selfish and I don't like to share...even if its not really mine. I just don't like the feeling that someone else has taken my place, or when someone else has what I want. Its not a psycho crazy type of jealously and I usually keep it to myself and don't act on it, but it causes my to alter my actions and hide my emotions, which leads me to the next one.

Prideful
When I am feeling a certain way, or when someone hurts my feelings I don't like to show it, it makes me feel weak and pitiful. I especially HATE crying in front of people, mainly because I don't want them to know how much they hurt me, and if I'm jealous I will rarely show it. I like people to only see the strong, good, happy side of me. Sometimes this can prove to be detrimental and cause even more complications..but I'm working on it.

Spoiled
I like for things to happen when and how I want it. If it doesn't go my way I get a little pissy. When I want something I will keep on persisting until I get it, I get locked on it and nothing will make me happy until I get exactly what was promised, or better (this is the GOLDEN RULE OF ANIE lol). Its because I'm an only child, and also the reason why I will have at least two children. Sometimes I just need to suck it up and get over it but the little girl inside me is having a temper tantrum and its hard to ignore her.

I know that I have more issues than what was listed but these were just what came to mind. I'm working on improving myself and the first step is admitting my flaws, so here's to a better me!

What's Your Flavor?

Normally I like my men like I like my coffee, dark, strong and hot! I love me some dark chocolate! But as of late I've been leaving the dark side and venturing into the light, and it baffles me. I know that its not the outside that matters, its the inside, but if I don't like your outside I usually don't care about the inside too much... romantically at least.

 I just never used to be a light skinned pretty boy type of girl, it actually kinda turned me off a little, they just think they are so cute and shit. I always wanted a nappy headed, dark, straight out of Africa man that was a little rough around the edges, not pretty at all. So why are these light skinned pretty boys catching my eye??

Maybe Brittany and TJ are rubbing off on me, cause Lord knows they love them some light skinned pretty boys. Or maybe I'm opening my eyes and seeing people for more than the color of their skin, because sexy comes in all colors. So I am now learning to appreciate sexiness in all of its flavors: chocolate, espresso, butterscotch, caramel, toffee, molasses.....I'm lovin it all!

Who Dat?...I Want You....Why Don't You Love Me?

I am LOVING these videos!

J.Cole- Who Dat


If you haven't already get the mixtapes (The Warm Up and The Come Up) at www.datpiff.com, and be sure to pick up the album when it drops, sometime in Feb I think.

Theophilus London- I Want You

This video makes me want to buy a wig and do dirty things (lol). 
Get the mixtapes (Jam, This Charming Mixtape and I Want You) at datpiff.com


Beyoncé- Why Don't You Love Me

Love this song and the old school vibe in video works so well, when does her new ish come out??

Inspiration/Motivation

Say what you will about my Cape Verdean sister Amber Rose, but you can't deny that her body is BANGIN!! So she is serving as my inspiration/motivation this summer to get it right, get it right, get it tight! Her picture is the background on my phone and my computer, taped next to my bathroom mirror and now on this blog.

I know that her boobs may be fake and she may have had some help but a girl can dream right?? If I could get a body like hers I would be so happy, not that I am not ok with my body now, but there is room for improvement and I would be much happier if I could slim some things down and tone some things up. I know that I will never have an ass like hers but if I could get those abs and those legs!!!( I might have to get a buzz cut like hers tho cause sweating out my hair 5 days a week is not the business.)

So she will be my inspiration/motivation to exercise and to eat right. I have always had the desire to get fit a be a healthier me, and this summer I will do it!! So wish me luck and join me if you wish.

Behind Every Great Woman, Is a Great Man (Or Three)

In honor of the 100th Father's Day I am honoring all of my fathers...

João José Gomes

My maternal grandfather has always been an important person in my life. Even though I never met him I have strived my whole life to make him proud and to make sure that his legacy lives on through me. He came to this country in 1957 in order to give his family a better chance at life, he was always striving to do better and always told his children to be the very best that they could be, and the man was fly! He would never, ever leave the house with even a hair out of place, and even when he died he went out classy; lying on a chaise lounge in a tuxedo. From him, I learned to always do my best and look amazing while doing it.

Benjamin Webster Hazard

My dad and I have always been close, no matter what, I know my daddy has my back. My dad is a very talented artist and a very creative person who has always worked very hard to achieve his dreams, you should Google him. He is also a very kind an loving person and never hesitates to give people a second chance. Oh, and he's a Golden Bear like me! From him, I learned to think outside the box and to work hard to achieve my goals.

James Gregory Moore

My Daddy Jim is such a wonderful man. When he married my mom when I was 6 he took me in as his own. He never tired to take my father's place, but was always there to supply me with what I needed. I love him as much as I love my biological father. he is truly a strong black man, in every sense of the word. He is also probably one of the only people that can keep my mom in check and clam her down, and I think God for that, lol. From him, I learned patience and to be Black and proud.

There are many other important men in my life but these three are by far the most important and the most inspirational. Without them I would be nothing, and today I celebrate them. Make sure you give your fathers and all of the important men in your life a great big hug today, cause behind every great, strong powerful, fabulous woman, is a great man (or three). HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Why I love TJ

Today is my fave Nija girl's B-day, so I will list a few of the reasons why I love her

1. She will always gossip with me

2. She doesn't let me do (or wear) stupid shit

3. She always listens to me when I say "I'm never talking to him again!" no matter how many times I've said it

4. She doesn't say "I told you so" when I do talk to him again

5. She introduced me to her sister who does bomb ass weaves for the low low

6. She is a little bougie like me lol

7. She always looks fly

8. She is beautiful inside and out

Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

I recently just faced one of my greatest fears, expressing my emotions. I FINALLY told someone close to me how I really feel, what is really in my heart. I didn't really do it out of bravery, more of anger, but at least I did it. And you know what? it felt good, I'm still alive, we're still friends, there are no hard feelings and now I have a more clear view of the situation. Facing my fears didn't make everything perfect and I am still not completely over my fear of expression, but I do think it helped me to grow and I was able to get something off of my chest that I had been holding in for oh so long. It was truly liberating. Now to work on my fear of spiders.....