Play Your Role

Call me old fashioned but I have always believed in men and women playing different roles in the household. I don't think that women should revert back to being a 1950s housewife, but I don't have a problem with being a revamped modern day housewife, who is also the chief council for a big important company. I'll cook, shop and balance the check book, he'll pay the bills, fix shit and kill the bugs, we'll both clean and bring home the [turkey] bacon.

I don't think that I'll ever be the stay at home mom type, because I want to make my mark on the world through my job, but I will make my kids lunches, bake them cookies and make all of their birthday cakes and my husband can teach them how to play catch and swim. Things just run smoother when people know their roles and perform them well; however, I have no problem with guest appearances.

He can wear the pants and the Prada shoes, I'll wear the pencil skirt and the Louboutins.....

EVERYTHING happens for a reason

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, its the only reason why I can walk around with a smile on my face. While nothing completely horrible has happened in my life there have been plenty of times where I think "Why is this happening, why me?" I am not a super religious person but I truly believe that God has a plan for everyone, nothing comes our way that we cannot handle, no one comes into our life that we do not need. Difficult situations teach us lessons, make us stronger and allow us to appreciate the good times. People come into our lives to help us along the way, give us strength, allow us to see the faults in ourselves or to help them with faults of their own. The purpose is not always revealed, but sometimes if you look deep within yourself and find the voice of God it will be revealed. Today, one of those reasons was revealed to me and it brought such joy to my life. It reminded me that no matter what I'm going through there is a purpose and it is for the best, I will come out a better person.

I also realized that I have some really great people in my life. People that don't let me give up or back down, people that don't let me accept anything but greatness, people that tell me the truth all the time, people that truly care for me, and I truly care for them. Basically, I have the best friends ever and I love them to death!! My Besties, my SPC gang, my pocketbook chicks, my Bay boys and my ATLiens, you are all the siblings that I never had, I am so glad you were brought into my life and I love you lots!

The opposite of the past, the time after the present

Since my time in undergrad is coming to an end I've been thinking a lot about the future. For one I'm moving to Atlanta, and its my decision. If you had told me that 7 years ago I would have laughed in your face and called you a crazy person. At that point in my life I just knew that I would end up in my beloved Cali and stay there for my entire life. But so much has happened since then and the experiences that I've had over these past 7 years have changed me almost completely; and I think that they have changed me for the better.

One thing that hasn't changed so much is my need to be in control and to have a clear view of the future. Right now I feel so much in the dark. Ever since I accomplished my first big goal, going to UC Berkeley, I have felt as though my future is undetermined. To some that feeling is a good one, but for me its scary and it has taken me about four years to feel semi-okay about it. I feel like I no longer have sole control of my future and that there are equal chances that things will go the way I would like them to or in a completely different direction. And the bad part is that I know that I have relinquished some of my power to others, they did not take it from me I gave it away. Normally this is not something that I would do but I know that in order to move on to the next step it is necessary, as my friend Ashly said (she has a blog too http://lovebeasle.blogspot.com/ check it out), "A BA degree means head cook at Taco Bell"

Now my future depends on whether or not I am worthy of admission, whether I am the right fit for them, whether I am what they feel they need. Unfortunately, I am not the only one vying for admission, there are others who have different qualities than I do...and probably a better GPA. Even though I know I am a damn good candidate the competition makes me a tad nervous, and by a tad I mean a lot. I know that its not the end of the world if I don't get my top choice, but I really, really want it. I am sure that I will get admitted somewhere and eventually I will have my JD, and if things don't work out the way I want them to, then it was never meant to be in the first place. I probably should just calm down and go with the flow, I mean I'm not even really ready for the next step,  I don't even have my BA yet! I just can't help but to think of how things could be if everything just went my way.....

So for now I am trying my darndest to just go with the flow, work hard and put my best foot forward. I am looking into other schools and trying to keep an open mind. Whatever my future holds I will accept and embrace it. As corny as it sounds, life is what you make it, and I will make it wonderful!