How to Approach Men

This title may be deceiving. I have no idea how to approach men. I've just never had to, not that men are throwing themselves at me or anything, I just normally wait until someone I like tells me they like me too. While I do not in any way think that chivalry should be dead, I do think that sometimes when a female is interested in someone it can be beneficial to let them know. The main reason why I don't normally approach guys is because I don't want to be rejected, but in all fairness I am sure that many guys have this same fear of rejection but because most girls don't approach guys they just have to suck it up and deal with it.

But seriously I have no idea what to do, I mean you can't run the same kinda game on guys like they run on us. What am I supposed to do? Tap them on their shoulder and say boy I like yo jeans?? Ask them if they are angels cause they must have just fallen out of heaven?? And guys don't even take hints well, if you act friendly, flirt a little and give them complements then they think you're just nice and you like their shoes. You have to damn near throw yourself at them and be thirsty as hell for them to figure that shit out, or wait a couple of weeks/months for their brains to click together. But then if I don't say anything then they will never know that I am feeling them and I will miss out.

I don't know maybe I am underestimating them, maybe they don't get that you like them because they don't want to. Cause now that I really think about it most guys that I have been really feelin and flirting with and ish got the point within a couple of days. Ugh maybe the real point of this post is that I've been single for too long, and I'm happy with myself and all but I want a boo thang.....I know you aren't supposed to admit it, but I am secure enough with myself that I can say it out loud. I WANT A MAN and I mean that in the least thirsty-est way lol! ....phew! That felt good!

P.S. I have been hearing that my friends and fam are reading my blog and enjoying it! Thanx so much for the support! Love you all :)

What Really Grinds My Gears! Pt.1

You know what really grinds my gears!!......well there are a couple of things lol, here they go....

White people who don't recognize that they have white privilege and try to make us colored folk feel bad for calling them on their shit! Exhibit A . If you are white you have certain advantages that people of color (mainly Blacks and Latinos) do not have, it doesn't matter if you are a homeless white crackhead, you still have more going for you that your black counterpart, at least in societies eyes.  I am not faulting white people for having privileges or for taking advantage of them, cause honestly I would do the same. However, they need to recognize that they do exist and whenever possible do their best to alleviate the burden on others. If you don't know what I am talking about read books by Tim Wise, he is one conscious white man.


Black people who don't date other Black people, especially Black men. How are you not attracted to your own race?? that's backwards. Its ok if you don't marry a Black person, its ok if you've never really had the opportunity to date a black person, but don't tell me that you never would, or that they are not attractive to you. I don't care what anyone says, that's self hatred, Black is beautiful, try it out a few times.

Africans or Caribbeans who say they are not Black. You may not be African-American, but you are sure as hell black. Don't try to separate your self from a race of people just because they have been historically oppressed and negatively stereotyped. Our struggle has made us stronger and more resilient. When a white/Asian person sees you walking down the street they don't give two squirts of pee about what country you or your family came from, you are just black. On the same note it gets on my nerves when white people, who are trying to be all politically correct, call every Black person African-American. We are not all African-American...just call me Black, Thanks!....Oh and one last thing on nomenclature, it pisses me off when African-Americans get mad when I tell them I don't like to be called African-American, yes I am half African-American, but I am Cape Verdean too. Don't be mad at me because I have a country of origin that I can point to on the map, and a culture that is not like yours. I am not trying to make you feel lower than me or to discredit your heritage and culture, but I will not deny my heritage and the culture that I was raised in either. In short I'm Black, and if you look like me you are too!

Girls who say they are classy, when they are clearly not. I will not give examples as to not embarrass anyone, but if you are truly classy, chances are you don't have to say it, it shows.

That is all I can think of for now. This is just the first installment, I am sure that there will be more to come lol....What really grinds your gears??

Love

These thoughts just passed through my mind and I decided to write about it real quick...I think it was inspired by my Erykah Badu playlist on Pandora.

Love is a crazy thing, its like a drug. I've been lucky to be in love once in my (almost)  22 years, I was only 16 but that shit was real. Everything is amazing when you're in love. It didn't work out but while it lasted it was great and it has left a lasting impression on my heart. I've been pretty damn close to being in love one time since then, but I don't think I got all the way there, probably cause I wasn't completely rehabilitated from the first time, and neither was he.

Being in love is really great while its happening, and when its over it hurts like hell, probably the worst pain you've ever experienced in your life, but once your heart heals you can look back and see the wonderful scar that it has left behind, it reminds you of all the good times and happy moments and you are able to open your heart and let love back in once again.

I have a lovely scar on my heart that I will cherish forever and I am so happy that I am FINALLY able to open my heart once again. *deep breath*

HAIR!!!!

I am a hair chameleon! I love hair, short, long, weave, natural, permed whatever, good hair just looks so damn good!! Even though pretty much everyone else in my family has curly wash-n-go Latino/a style hair, I've always loved my thick tightly wound mane and how it could be transformed. Except, I hate my natural hair color, its a drab dull brown that is not quite 1b but not really 2 either....I almost always have a cellophane/color wash on it.

I've been watching YouTube videos about hair (mostly weave) since last night! Literally, I stayed up until like 3am watching it last night, then I woke up and got at it again I've been watching it ALL DAY(minus a 2hr gym break), until about 11:22pm!! I have always been intrigued with the millions of things you can do with hair, especially black hair, because that's what I have lol.

I've had my hair all kinda ways, weaved, short, permed, curled, purple, red, brown, black etc. currently I am rocking my own hair with a BKT (Brasilian Keratin Treatment) and a bob with bangs. I absolutely love it right now, its just so hard to keep up with all of this damn humidity in Atlanta and working out twice a day isn't really helping either. Yeah, that's right TWICE a day, I'm kicking it into high gear for the rest of the summer, which means back to no carbs :(. Anyway, I have been perm free since November 2009, weave free since May 2010 and with BKT since June 2010. I am kinda getting the weave itch back after watching all of these vids, but I promised myself that I would let my hair breathe and be free until Dec, when I can get that high quality Nija weave hook up (ain't nothing better!), so I am gonna stick to it. It should be much easier to maintain my hair in Cali.

I am about to go do my hair now its around 12am :/ because I am tired of looking like a crazy bush woman turned slave who just escaped from the plantation and has been living in the swamps for 3 months, its depressing. I am sure I will sweat it out tomorrow but at least I'll look good and feel good for a couple hours.